be.

I used to read psychology books as a child, trying to find myself in the mental disorders, to categorize my ailments and to find a logical explanation behind my behavior, why I felt as I felt and behaved as I did. I never did find the perfect cure-all, the grand explanation I so sought.

I've since moved on; I read biographies of great people, of mysterious people, of those far more alluring than I. Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner, Vivien Leigh, Tony Curtis, Frank Sinatra, Jim Morrison, Abraham Lincoln, RFK. I try to find myself in their greatness, categorize myself in their ranks, in an attempt to find how I can be more like them. Being Amber just doesn't feel like enough at times!

listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86tDEuoOSko